Bud #6: Harold Holds Kangaroo Court

It’s never dull at Bud’s. Today was no exception.  If you’ve been following the episodes, you know that Bud’s is an old clapboard tavern out at the edge of the county. Bud, (Brimley Underwood Draper) is the owner and proprietor of Bud’s.

I walked in to discover that Harold was in a giddy mood.

Harold, a regular at the bar, had just returned from a visit to a lawyer. There, he and his sister Louise updated her outdated deed and will. Louise thought that everything was ok.  She had gone to one of those seminars that judge puts on. He said everything was ok. But the lawyer discovered some problems between the deed and the will, big problems. Now that was all fixed. Harold was enormously happy that he had saved the day and his sister would be ok.

 When I came in I did a double take. Harold was wearing a black choir robe that he had borrowed from someone. He had a tack hammer and began banging it on the bar pretending to be a judge.

 “Order in the court, order in the court,” shouted Harold.

Bud says, “I’ll bet you’ll want to order a beer, right?  Harold stop banging that hammer on my bar. You’re making dents.”

“What are you so excited about?” Bud said.

“Well, my sister Louise just signed all the new paperwork for their deed and will.  We got everything straightened out and It was a good thing that we did. If she had listened to that judge and his free, free, free seminar and didn’t fix the will, we would’ve been in probate court filing papers until you know where froze.”

Harold started banging the tack hammer again and said, “Hear ye, hear ye, court is now in session, the honorable Harold presiding.” Larry was sitting at the end of the bar. He said, “you look a little like Judge Judy in that get up.”

“Order, order in the court” said Harold “or I will clear the bar, I mean court room.”  

“No you won’t,” said Bud. “I need these customers.”

Larry shouted from down the bar, “You’re honor, I’m going to throw myself on the mercy of the court.”

“Guilty!” Harold shouted back. “I fine you one beer.”

Everybody was joining in the fun and it wasn’t the beer talking. Everyone was happy for Harold and his sister. Harold got up from his barstool and began to jump up and down.

“What the heck are you doing Harold?” said Larry. Harold said, “I’m holding kangaroo court.”

Harold stopped directly in front of Bud and said “Brimley Underwood Draper (Bud’s real name) do you promise to tell the whole truth?” Bud looked at him and said “Absolutely not.”

It was time for me to go. I learned two lessons that day. One was that this group could get pleasure from the good fortune of one of their friends. The second is nothing is free.

NEXT TIME: Honoring and Remembering

The opinions expressed are solely those of Dave Partington and of course Bud, Randy, Harold, Larry and the rest of the guys sitting at the bar at Bud’s. Bud’s Geauga Corners is a work of fiction. Bud’s Geauga Corners is paid for solely by Dave Partington.